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“Hide This Cracked, Flawed Vessel”

4/15/2018

“Hide This Cracked, Flawed Vessel”
1 or 1 Million Followers, Does it Really Matter?

There were several ways the same topic came up this week! It was associated with being “lovers of self”, “denying yourself”, and being guilty of making a platform for ourself instead of making one for God.

It started earlier this week when Ava (my 11 year old daughter) and I were having a conversation while getting ready together.
There was a local news report about pedophiles posing as children on the ‘Musical.ly’ app to access our youth. I shared with Ava that if she didn’t personally know someone, do not allow them to follow her. I continued to say it doesn’t matter how many “likes” or followers one has. Having a certain number of likes and followers doesn’t validate us and it certainly doesn’t justify our worth and significance.
This is where I became transparent before my 11 year old daughter. I said, ”Ava, even mommy struggled with this just a few days ago!” Adults get caught up in the rat race to be liked and accepted just as today’s youth. It is easy for me to look at another DS advocate and see how many followers they have and think, “I Blog, I am a pretty good writer, and I’ve had multiple articles published. I spread positivity and attempt to educate others because I genuinely care and want others to see the beauty of Down Syndrome. I want to share the love of Christ and be a positive example to whomever will see and hear.” So why does this person have 9,000+ or 12,000+ followers and I have 1,000? Then, I’m convicted. My goal is to make a difference in just one life. I remain more humble by hiding behind the platform instead of making it my own. My intentions are not prideful, but when I have the competitive thoughts like I just mentioned, I’m most definitely not hiding behind anything, especially The Cross!

I also shared this transparency with my declared sister, Karen, yesterday as we walked the Atlanta Belt Line with our daughters. She is always so positive and relatable. She said, “Sis, everyone struggles with this. It’s human nature!” She always has a way of making me feel “normal”. That is the same intentions I have for those I know personally and through social media as I write and blog about life, relationships, and the beauty of living with Down Syndrome.

This same topic came up once again after seeing a post from @iamhe.simple on Instagram.
It was through a powerful video of how social media and devices manipulate and monopolize our time. How we promote ourselves, instead of caring for others and loving God with all our heart. We have become lovers of flesh.
After seeing the video, I immediately thought/ prayed, “Lord, please search me and convict me if I’m guilty of any of this. I don’t want to be so focused on myself, my feelings, how things appear, or even how many see and receive what I stand and advocate for. I simply want to be a clean conduit for Christ’s honor and glory, not taking any away from Him. Lord, continue to create in me a clean heart, with love and compassion for others. Thank you for the gift of discernment. Help me to be focused on a relationship with you over religion. Thank you that social media can be used as a positive platform for encouragement, even a way to “check ourselves”!

Lastly, today at church, our pastor, Jerry Walls, spoke on this topic as well. We can all be guilty of making our own platform instead of a platform for God.
He referenced the verses:

Matthew 16:24 (NIV)
24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.
Matthew 16:2(NIV)
26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?

For this topic to come up so often from various places in a few short days, I feel it is a message for me to hide in my heart and meant to share with whomever will listen. The prayer at the beginning of Nate Butler’s song “Crash and Burn” is prayed by Nathan Butler, Sr. It is one of my favorite prayers and songs! This prayer has become my prayer:
“Father God, now in the name of Jesus, we pray now that you would hide this cracked, flawed vessel behind the cross. That you, Oh God, would stand up in this vessel of clay. That you, Oh God, would squash intellect, that you would hide education. That you, God, would move “Nate” (insert your name) out of the way. That God, these... your people, hear from You. Then, God save somebody in the process. Deliver somebody in the process. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

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Tips On Oral Care For Your Little One

4/12/2018

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Tips On Oral Care For Your Little One

As moms, we want the best for our children. We make sure they have enough servings of fruits and vegetables. We want the best and safest lotions, soaps, and diapers. We make sure our children have adequate visits to their pediatrician to maintain good health. So why are teeth somewhat put on the back burner by many or not thought of as a primary part of good health?

Good oral health begins as an infant. I have always suggested to my new Mom patients that after putting baby in the bath (tub or sink), use a clean baby bath cloth and wet it with warm water, squeezing out any access water. Simply wipe baby’s gingiva on both top and bottom. Baby will suck and/ or bite. That’s ok! It feels good to his/ her gums!
Make gingival cleaning a daily routine. Bath time is ideal because one can incorporate oral care and body care together in one session. This provides a healthy environment for the first tooth when it erupts!

After the first tooth erupts, begin using an extra soft baby toothbrush that is approved by the American Dental Association. The toothbrush can be used with water alone or a baby cleansing gel that is fluoride free. Since baby can not adequately spit out fluoridated toothpaste until later, it is best to use fluoride free at this time.

It’s very important not to put baby down for a nap or bed with a bottle of milk or juice. Bacteria in the mouth thrive on these sugars and make acids that attack the teeth. The natural sugars from these beverages can greatly increase the cavity rate and cause baby bottle caries. This is a term used when cavities throughout the teeth are present from the sugary drinks (natural or refined) setting on the teeth for extended periods of time.

Continue to brush your baby’s teeth daily. Ideally, it’s best to make sure brushing is done twice a day. In reality, you will be doing great if you brush baby’s teeth once a day, preferably at night to get the “days collection” of plaque and food debris.

Your child’s first dental checkup depends on the dentist. I usually did a “happy visit” when baby would come in with mom or dad. Doing a quick, fun, but efficient quick check will allow a way to make sure the child’s dentition is coming in and the oral cavity and teeth are “happy and healthy”! If the child comes in with mom or dad to their appointments, the child sees how easy and fun a dental visit may be!

Usually at the age of three is when an official cleaning and exam is done because all of the primary teeth are fully erupted and the child’s behavior is mature enough to endure a quick and light hearted visit!
I suggest getting children’s books about going to the dentist and talking to your child before going. Talking about how fun it will be and how easy it will be will ease your child’s mind and yours, too! The Berenstain Bears series has a sweet book about going to the dentist and I highly recommend it!

I hope these suggestions and insight will help give you and your child a great and happy start to a healthy, bright smile for years to come!

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What My Health Physical Revealed To Me

4/10/2018

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What My Health Physical Revealed To Me

I hate to admit that until yesterday, it has been almost 7 years since I had a complete physical. I did have my annual Pap smears and breast exams, but that has been the extent. I consistently make sure all three of my children have their well checks and various other appointments concerning their health. It is easy for a lot of us to come up with excuses as to why we may not go to the doctor ourselves. The biggest reason is we may put everyone else before ourselves and time simply passes quickly.

As I updated the physician on the highlights of my past seven years, I came face to face with the reality and emotions from the major events that have taken place since my last visit.
I am one who doesn’t over dramatize situations and when things have become very stressful or tense, I protect my children and try to calm the environment at the expense of me personally facing my own emotions.

I found myself telling the MD that after 23 years, my husband filed for divorce. Five years ago I found myself taking care of two daughters and a mother by myself, as I do not have siblings nor did I have parents I could go to for help or refuge. I also explained the circumstances that happened in the marriage that were incredibly tense and somewhat violent that led to me being hospitalized with a possible TIA. Incredible stress most definitely affects one physically! I am thankful beyond words that my girls are under my roof every night.
Two years after my divorce, The Lord brought JR into my life and the lives of Alexis and Ava and eventually we married. He has become a consistently calm, loving, and authoritative guide in their lives. One year after that, I had my third daughter (Savannah) and that is where my journey continued to move in a completely different direction. She had a prenatal diagnosis of Down Syndrome and we were pressured to abort based on her diagnosis.
The following year, when Savannah was one, she had open heart surgery. Today, her cardiologist can not even hear a murmur!
Five months later (December 2017), I found out we were expecting again. However, I began to bleed and eventually had my first miscarriage. Within 24 hours of the miscarriage beginning, my mother passed away.
The Female doctor listened and actually said I reminded her of herself. Not necessarily because of all of the events, but that major life changes happen to us all. No matter where we come from, race, sex, economical status, etc. Life is a journey. In spite of it all, I am so grateful and thankful. Why? Because God makes no mistakes. He can take our mess and make it our ministry. He is a God of restoration and second chances.
He has a purpose and plan for each of us, if we are willing to trust and follow Him.
As I reflected on the major events that have occurred, I see how good God is. He reveals Himself in the most unique ways and even reveals so much about ourselves if we are humble enough to see. I wouldn’t be on this incredible journey and path I’m on if things happened differently. Wrongs that are done to us, can and will teach us to be better instead of bitter! If life were perfect, we would never see God do His “thang”! We would never know amazing grace. Without sickness, we wouldn’t know The Healer. Without pain, we would not know peace. Without heartache, we wouldn’t know happiness.
So, today and everyday, I choose to accept the path God has for me with a grateful and thankful heart. He wants the best for us! Hopefully, I will continue to learn more about this crazy ride called “life” and be able to share my journey to encourage and relate to others with love.
I look forward to the next 7 years with hope and excitement, making sure I include those yearly physicals!

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Learning A Different Language

2/22/2018

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Learning A Different Language

This is an article that is different from my typical posts. It’s not about DS, open heart surgery, or a military golf tournament fundraiser, but about LOVE LANGUAGES!
I feel this is another important subject and concept to teach our children!
The concept that everyone doesn’t think like me was one I carried into adulthood.
I have had to learn so much on my own. I wish someone would’ve told me at an early age that God not only made men and women to think differently, but that people in general have different love languages! It’s not a “right” or “wrong”, just different! …. and different is A-OK!
According to Gary Demonte Chapman, the author of series, there are five different love languages.
Gift Giving, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service (Devotion), and Words of Affirmation.
Think about all of the millions of people in this world, yet there are only five love languages! This means many of us share the same language of love.
However, if you are with someone that doesn’t share the same love language, it can make for a difficult journey! One has to be willing to see the other person showing love in their own language.
For example, yesterday was a very long and busy day for me, as I’m sure you all can relate! I was mentally exhausted from completing my mom‘s business affairs, occupying, playing, and taking care of Savannah, getting the older girls lunches packed and off to school, answering emails, and making various appointments. Needless to say I did not make dinner. I’m sure this sounds very familiar to many of you! Only until 7:30 pm, we decided to get Fazoli‘s because it is cheap and not typical fast food. I stayed home with the girls making sure everyone was bathed and ready for bed while my husband, JR, and Trip, my son by marriage, went to get the food. When they returned with the food, it was not from Fazoli‘s, but from my favorite Chinese restaurant! Did JR hold my face, look deeply into my eyes, telling me how much he appreciates all I do and how much he loves me? Not in that way, but when he went to my favorite Chinese restaurant instead of Fazoli’s, that was equal to him giving me that verbal affirmation, which is one of my love languages!
One of JR’s love languages is “acts of service”. If I choose NOT to see what he does for me daily and HOW he is telling me (in his own language) he loves and cherishes me, I may miss out on an intimate relationship with him, leaving me feeling neglected and unloved.
I urge you ladies not to focus on what is NOT said or done and CHOOSE to see what IS done and said! Maybe it just isn’t done or said in the language that is yours.
Likewise, our partner needs to do the same. A relationship should never be one sided!
Sometimes we need to step out of our love language and speak another! We may need to learn another language to make another feel loved in their own familiarity.
If any of you have learned another speaking language, you realize it takes time and patience to master. Many of us only learn a second language in high school for two years , only because it is required.
If you are like me and are in a relationship with one who speaks a different love language, I urge you to look at it as a requirement to step out of your box. Learning not only how to recognize how they are speaking love to you in their own way, but demonstrate to them how much you love them in their language instead of yours. Loving unselfishly, not just expecting to get, but to give to them…even more!

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I Will Shout Your Worth

2/15/2018

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I Will Shout Your Worth

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned on my Instagram page that a big announcement was coming! Today we want to share!
God put on my heart a fun way to “SHOUT” the worth of not only Savannah Lanier, but ALL OF MY CHILDREN AND YOURS, too!
💛What started out as a confusing and hurtful time, has placed a passion and fire in me that is now one of my missions in life! At my 20 week prenatal checkup, it was discovered that Savannah Lanier had a heart defect by an ultrasound tech and she began to tell me our daughter probably had Down Syndrome. A doctor wasn’t present, but my two other daughters were. They were confused and I was convinced she was mistaken and very out of line. However, I kept it “cool” as I reassured Alexis and Ava that everything would be just fine and there was nothing to worry about.
Little did I know, my encouragement to Alexis and Ava that day was more true than I knew! I have shared more details in articles and blog posts that I encourage you to read!
💙Why do we feel we have to “SHOUT” the worth of our children? Why does an extra chromosome, autism, any disability or differences make one unacceptable, unworthy, or unloved? Fear and ignorance, it’s as simple as that. I stand with so many and want to share our story and continued journey to be a light of HOPE, ENCOURAGEMENT, and INSPIRATION.... while showing love and compassion. Our family wants to educate and love until more and more good people are even better and forever changed because of the knowledge and inspiration they have gained from knowing a child, teenager, or adult with special needs.
Here is a way I want to share....
I reached out to gaffren t-shirts about a vision I had of a cool jersey t-shirt that says “I Will Shout Your Worth!” because those are the words that came to me with every blog post, every article written, and every IG post made.
I wanted our username on the back as a silent way to invite anyone who will listen, read, and see how “normal” and fun ones’ life can be while living with the beauty of Down Syndrome!
Our desire is to spread awareness and how “normal” and fun life is with Down Syndrome or any disability! ❤️ We want to show all who will hear, that our children have purpose, are loved.... and that we we “Shout Their Worth!” This t-shirt can be fun to wear to promote inclusion whether it be a disability, or anything that makes one different! Being kind and respectful is always the golden rule. This can be a sweet addition to a gift basket for a family that has received a prenatal diagnosis or delivered a precious little one!
You can get these fun shirts at gaffren ! USE THE CODE SAVANNAH10 for a 10% DISCOUNT!
https://www.etsy.com/listing/585380345
Our lives are not the gloom our prenatal specialist tried to portray and even pressured us to terminate. Until I take my last breath, Savannah.... “I Will Shout Your Worth!”

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Self Love Is Not As Important.....

2/12/2018

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Self Love Is Not As Important....

We are swinging into this week with smiles! The last two weeks have personally been difficult for me. I tend to repress some of the most difficult times in my life, as to not deal with them. If they are repressed, I won’t have to deal with the overwhelming emotions that come with the particular situation. Maybe that is a mechanism our mind and body does to keep us from losing it, but it always comes back for us to face!
I have always been the one to take care of others, been expected to be strong, and have also put upon myself the pressures to make sure everyone around me and closest to me are happy and at peace.
I’m sharing this as a mom, a mom that has been a single parent of two, an only child taking care of her mother without a father ever in the picture, and as a friend. If I do this, I know others do, too! I want to be an encouragement sharing this!
As women, we by nature are expressive and need to vent/talk. I’m guilty of looking to my husband and others for only what my Heavenly Father can give. This week I had to confess being self absorbed and self centered. As much as I give, I don’t think of myself as selfish. I most definitely don’t put my needs before my children or husband, so how have I been self centered? When we take our eyes off of Christ and allow certain thoughts to flow freely, our thoughts can get snagged on an issue or problem! We become wrapped in our own emotions! It isn’t popular to say anything against “self love” but, we just have to find that balance! Loving God will enable us to love and serve others the way He would have us to. By loving God before ourselves, we will be able TO SEE OURSELVES THE WAY HE SEES US... and that is the most beautiful way to love ourselves!
Matthew 22:37-39 King James Version (KJV)
37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

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Feed With Love

12/20/2017

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Feed With Love

My family and I try to think of ways to serve and do something special for others, especially around the holidays. The first thing most of us think of is to “feed the homeless”, which is great! However, there are so many types of needs. After experiencing three deaths in nine days this month, I’m reminded that there are different types of hunger. Not only do we have physical hunger, but we also have emotional and spiritual hunger. We have ALL experienced these needs in various degrees! I want to not only challenge my family, but my social media family as well, to show love and compassion in beautiful ways!
Oakley from “NothingDownAboutIt” said it perfectly when she said that sometimes sharing our acts of service publicly can take away from what we are trying to do. I agree and understand what she is saying! It can take away from the intimacy and heart of truly serving another with humility. However, she also said that this is an opportunity to rally TOGETHER and promote doing something wonderful! (I’m not quoting her, just paraphrasing)
I heard that a group of amazing moms are making THIS THURSDAY 12/ 21/17 #FEEDWITHLOVE
It’s an opportunity for our communities near and far to “feed” in various ways. If this Thursday isn’t convenient because of children and schedules, take an opportunity sometime in the next week to make a difference is someone’s life! Here are some ideas I thought of and I would love to hear YOUR ideas!

1) Making bagged lunches and taking them to the homeless, along with blankets or gloves is a great idea!

2) Making a meal or taking snacks to The Ronald McDonald House is another great idea! JR and I stayed there this summer while Savannah Lanier had her open heart surgery and they were a great blessing to us. Seeing different groups come in to serve and provide meals made me want to pay it forward!

3) Going into Nursing Homes and passing out stuffed animals, snacks, drawings from your children, coloring books with crayons, large print word find books, and simply listening and giving a hug to “The Greatest Generation” can make an incredible difference in a life! There are some sweet people that never get a visit while in a nursing home!

4) Do you know someone who has lost a family member this year? Bring them flowers and a love note. Just letting others know they’re not alone and loved is a tremendous gift!

5) Baking goodies with your kids, then taking a walk around to your neighbor to disperse them along with saying a heart felt “Merry Christmas” can spread sunshine that one may desperately need.

I’m sure there are many ways we can ALL make a difference and spread love not only this Christmas, but throughout this new year! Make 2018 a year of LOVE and compassion.

God Is Love
1 John 4:7-11 (NIV)

7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

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I Want My Momma

12/13/2017

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I Want My Momma

We all know that “Keeping it Real” stories make the best ones, right?! Yesterday was a real one for my sweet son by marriage. The nanny we recently hired to care for Savannah on the two “out of town days” I work per week, wasn’t able to come Tuesday. We were in a pinch and our recent Citadel college graduate just happened to be home for the holidays!
I went over routines, special songs that would calm Savannah ( especially during diaper change because she has become VERY mobile and doesn’t like to have her diaper changed! 🤪)! I also made a specific and detailed list as to what to feed her during the day, among other details.
Well, let’s just say Savannah wanted her Momma and she was going to let him know it! She threw everything he tried to feed her. She threw the yogurt, she threw the applesauce, she threw her milk. Finally, he gave her bread and sat her in front of Sesame Street and all was well in the world. That would calm me, too!
He changed her diaper and SURPRISE, she fought him on that, too.
She rolled over, got up, and sat her bare poop bum on the rug all while shooing him off of her.
Thankfully, I wasn’t late getting home. They both were equally glad to see me! I was very appreciative and publicly thank him. I also believe we won’t be having grandchildren anytime soon!

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Saying Goodbye To My Mom And Baby Within Hours

12/8/2017

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Saying Goodbye To My Mom And Baby Within Hours

I found out on Thanksgiving Day that I was expecting my fourth biological child. A week ago today, I began to bleed (Friday). The very next day (Saturday), my mom went to be with The Lord.
I held on to hope with this baby, because I did bleed at times during my last pregnancy. Yesterday, it was confirmed that I miscarried.
The hope I held on to was the positive pregnancy test I still had, although I was bleeding. However, I knew in my heart what was going on and understood how that was physiologically possible. Losing my mom and losing our baby within hours is a hurt that is so heavy. Through it all I know God is good. He has a plan. He has a purpose. Plans to prosper and not to harm. The fact that I am an only child, no father present, and discovering my mom had no life insurance is a bit stressful to say the least. I’m having to be in “business mode” while being an encouraging Momma to my three precious children, especially during the holiday season! I know I need to grieve and I have in brief increments. This is definitely going to be a process. However, I’m so blessed and have a grateful heart. I know my mom is in heaven and got to hold my baby before I did!
This journey is not a mistake or a punishment. To those that have suffered a loss of any kind, please understand this it is to take you to a spiritual level that you couldn’t get to by remaining on a mountain top. Be encouraged. Keep the faith!
The analogy I gave to Alexis and Ava (my 13 and 11 year old daughters) is this:
Intense workouts can hurt physically, sometimes giving one pain in one’s side or cause one to gasp for air, but both cardiovascular and physical strength will be gained! Just like those intense physical workouts, spiritual growth comes from the pains of life and the experiences that are a part of our journey. We will be stronger. We will be wiser, if we chose to be. Faith is believing and trusting in Christ. I speak of His goodness. I speak of His love. I chose to walk in the faith I say I have. I chose to be better, not bitter. I chose to be grateful. I chose to say “Thank you, Lord. Thank you for being faithful. Thank you for my mom’s salvation and the peace of knowing she is with you. Thank you that my unborn child is safe in your arms. Thank you for the promise that I will see them both again one day. Until then, help me be a clean conduit of your grace, goodness, and most of all.... your love.”

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November 03rd, 2017

11/3/2017

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The Struggle (Of Fear) Is Real

Yesterday during a meeting with ‘Babies Can’t Wait’, the subject of inclusion and school for Savannah Lanier came up. I was overcome with fear and “what if” scenarios! Then, today after seeing a sweet post from @nothingdownabout_victoria on Instagram, I had to respond and actually “preach” to myself! I’m sure this topic is something all of us mommas have at some point!
I already have “fears” of future school days and cruelty towards Savannah Lanier. It can almost be paralyzing!! We are in constant battle between flesh and spirit! We have fears because we are human! Then, The Holy Spirit reminds us to “fear not”. God doesn’t put that statement in His word 365 times for no reason!! He is almost screaming to us to fear not! However.... we as Momma humans, protective and Momma hen like, have to painfully let go as different chapters end and stages evolve. It is meant for us to let go. We are meant to teach, love, and encourage our babies to grow and leave the nest. So, why does it hurt us to do that at times? The answer is simply... fear. We then see God do sweet things through sweet people. We see God reveal Himself in situations and we see our babies defy odds. Then slowly but surely the fear of that particular area, disappears. We are stubborn creatures, after seeing God do the impossible, we still doubt. The beautiful part of this, is God continues to show His love, conquers our battles, and reveals that He is bigger than any fear!
There is apart of me that wants to shelter Savannah Lanier and just surround her with others that will accept her and that are like her. Then, I’m slapped with conviction! Separation just promotes discrimination! If we don’t see others that are different than us, if we don’t get to know ....truly know... others that are different than us, then we never learn from those differences. We only see superficially, not through the eyes of Christ. We would never gain compassion and we would never know how to love unselfishly. “Lord continue to guide this journey and teach me to love through Your eyes. As each chapter ends and a new one begins, replace any fear with faith and peace that rests in only You!”

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THIS IS US

“Hide This Cracked, Flawed Vessel”

“Hide This Cracked, Flawed Vessel”
1 or 1 Million Followers, Does it Really Matter?

Tips On Oral Care For Your Little One

Tips On Oral Care For Your Little One

What My Health Physical Revealed To Me

What My Health Physical Revealed To Me

Learning A Different Language

Learning A Different Language

I Will Shout Your Worth

I Will Shout Your Worth

Self Love Is Not As Important.....

Self Love Is Not As Important....

Feed With Love

Feed With Love

I Want My Momma

I Want My Momma

Saying Goodbye To My Mom And Baby Within Hours

Saying Goodbye To My Mom And Baby Within Hours

November 03rd, 2017

The Struggle (Of Fear) Is Real

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Contact Us

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THIS IS US

“Hide This Cracked, Flawed Vessel”1 or 1 Million Followers, Does it Really Matter?

Tips On Oral Care For Your Little One

What My Health Physical Revealed To Me

Learning A Different Language

I Will Shout Your Worth

Self Love Is Not As Important....

Feed With Love

I Want My Momma

Saying Goodbye To My Mom And Baby Within Hours

Author

Contact Us

Subscribe Today!

“Hide This Cracked, Flawed Vessel”
1 or 1 Million Followers, Does it Really Matter?