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End of Summer Blues

7/30/2018

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End of Summer Blues

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With school starting back day after tomorrow, I’m already feeling the “end of Summer blues”.

Today will be a day of going to an amazing middle school that we are already familiar with, to meet Ava’s teacher and see her classroom. Then, we will begin a new chapter with Alexis as we head over to the high school (which also has an amazing reputation) and make ourselves somewhat familiar with countless halls and buildings.

I am a mom that becomes more sentimental and emotional when a new school year begins. I know routine and structure is healthy and needed. There is great purpose in order; however, there is something about Summertime and the unscheduled, non-routine days. There is something about not having a bedtime, the smell of sunscreen, hosting Summer birthday parties, hearing giggling girls come downstairs to get a late night snack, and whatever road trips and outings we take as a family! These are just a few things that brings a giddy excitement and contentment to me.

The melancholy emotions at the end of every Summer aren’t so much about having to get back on a routine, but it’s a realization that time is passing too quickly. I am a “Momma hen” that loves her “chicks” being close by. I’m so thankful for the honor of loving and taking care of them and do so with all I have. As each year passes, the needs of my children change and our relationship matures and deepens. That in itself is beautiful and how it’s supposed to be.
I am growing as a parent as each stage changes in my children and as they continue to grow. We are “infant” parents when our children are first born and we grow together as time passes.
My youngest daughter, Savannah, is two years old and has Down Syndrome. She is not in school outside our home yet, but I know I will have every emotion and concern that I have with her older sisters. However, there will be additional emotions I will not allow myself to dwell on at this time. In my transparency, I don’t want Savannah to be stared at in a negative way. I don’t want her to be excluded, made fun of, or made to feel inferior. I want her to be treated equally and for all who have the privilege of meeting her, to see Savannah, not a diagnosis.
How may school children with disabilities not experience those fears I have? It starts with us teaching our children without disabilities to treat their peers with kindness and respect, never believing we are better than another. If they see someone sitting by themselves at lunch, invite them to sit with you. If one is playing alone, befriend them. Differences can be so cool and amazing because they teach us something we don’t know and are unfamiliar with!
What I have to remember is, if I’m doing one of my jobs as a Momma correctly, I’m also teaching my children not to need me like they once did. That’s a hard pill for many of us to swallow.
I’m teaching them to be independent, responsible, respectful, soon to be adults that will be a positive, loving, contributing part of society. However, I will advocate and educate to whomever will hear how we are all more alike than different.

I will cherish every moment and every stage daily. I will continue to develop and change as a parent just as my children continue to do so. However, whether we are on a routine or Summertime freedom, I will teach, love, direct, and encourage them until I take my last breath. No matter the stage or season, I will forever be a Momma having all of the emotions that come with that privilege.

Thank you Summertime, you have been good to us and have given us more precious memories we will always cherish!
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Believe

7/12/2018

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Believe

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“Believe” is what is written in sign language on Savannah’s shirt.
This word means so much to me, as one year ago TODAY, we were at Egleston Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta preparing to hand over our baby to strangers, knowing they would literally hold Savannah’s heart in their hands. Open heart surgery, you scared me and you intimated me, but you also gave me hope that all would be so much better for my precious baby. I “believe” in The One who could heal Savannah’s heart without surgery, but chose to do so through the hands of others that He blessed with the wisdom to do so. I “believe” that God chose to allow me to cross paths with so many beautiful, loving people that I wouldn’t otherwise have had the pleasure to meet without surgery.
I remember waking up throughout the night before her surgery at the Ronald McDonald House as Savannah slept peacefully in the bed next to us, oblivious to what the following days would be like for her.
I remember kneeling beside her bed, laying my trembling hand on her sleeping body and begging God for a long, healthy, happy life for Savannah, full of strength, vitality, and protection. I prayed for the surgical team and all who would take care of her.
I didn’t cry until I handed our sedated Savannah over to a stranger and walked in a different direction. It felt so contradicting to want to hold and protect her, yet hand her over and trust a group of strangers to open her chest and have the fate of her life in their hands. Then, the word “believe” comes into play again. I believe and trust in my Heavenly Father and that He is good. He is a good, good Father and still provides miracles, even in the midst of what is scary and intimidating.
Today, the doctors can not even hear a heart murmur! She is thriving and growing so much every single day! I’m thankful, so thankful for all Savannah is and what she will be with a strong will and a strong heart!
If you’re a Momma or Daddy that is about to begin this journey, I’m open to answer any questions and surround you with love and prayer!
Happy one year anniversary to my HE❤️RT WARRIOR!

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“How Fear Of What Others Say Can Hinder Our Potential”

6/30/2018

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“How Fear Of What Others Say Can Hinder Our Potential”

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The heat of the sun, the sounds of water splashing on the concrete, giggles from the kids running through the water fountains, and the sound of a lifeguard blowing their whistle, are all apart of our Summer life. Making new friends as we are playing in a public area is also a great part of Summer! However, meeting other moms at a splash park or public area can bring about fears that are humbling to admit.


One thing that makes me tense, as a special needs mom, is the question, “How old is your daughter?” You see, I know that my child is not walking or talking as well as her typical (I really don’t care for that term) peers that are the same age. Many two year olds are speaking well enough to understand and are not only walking, but running. Savannah is two and just learning to walk well. I often feel the need to explain why Savannah is behind and then I find myself getting on an advocacy soap box. Why? I’d like to say it’s 100% because I’m seizing an opportunity to educate. Truthfully, it’s also because I fear judgment or pity. I don’t want pity for Savannah or our family. I want so desperately to let others know that Savannah will accomplish anything and for others to see her for her, not her challenges. For the most part, I believe most people do see how beautiful, smart, and loving Savannah is before anything else. The victories over the challenges she has will only shed a brighter light on her and The God we serve. If I lived in fear, I would rob so many of seeing the beauty of Down Syndrome and that it is not a scary thing! I wouldn’t have the opportunity to educate and encourage others in a unique way, by opening up our life publicly through photos, testimonies, and blog posts.


Fear of an opinion or criticism is not only for those associated with special needs. Fear of what others say can hinder our own potential and what we are called to do.


I have been in many circumstances that have rendered a “damned if I do, damned if I don’t” response. I’m sharing this because I want to encourage you, friend, to rise to your potential and be the best YOU, using the gifts God has given you! No matter what we do, there will be those that have something negative to say. Unfortunately, there will be those that reject you, ignore you, and gossip about you no matter how kind, loving, and hard working you are.


There was a time in my life that rejection almost crippled me. I loved, served, and “obeyed” one man in marriage while enduring controlling ways, verbal abuse, and at times physical abuse. I was always told it was somehow my fault. He filed for divorce after 23 years. God used my two daughters at the time as life preservers and they were the only reason I got out of bed every day. I have been the one to care for my daughters and have sole custody. To this day, not one member from our previous church and not one past family member have asked if we are ok or if we have a need. There were some that refused to even speak to me when I’d see them. Rejection and being ignored are two hard pills to swallow. However, I have learned so much and for that, I’m truly thankful.
I have had family unfollow me because I was “too happy”, “too religious” (which in fact I don’t even like “religion”. I simply love Jesus and am a Jesus follower).
I have had family unfollow me because they didn’t receive an invitation to a get together and on the opposite spectrum, I’ve had family members curse me out because I told them they were missed after not coming to an event they were invited to.
I have been harshly reprimanded for using a NIV version of the Bible instead of KJV in an encouragement note. (That one makes me laugh thinking back on it).

How can we keep others from saying and projecting negativity our way? We can’t. How can we keep from living in fear of what others say and think? We don’t say anything. We never step out on faith and never act on what we are called to do. We don’t do anything. We never open up and share what God has done in us and through us.
We give up living a beautiful life, having beautiful relationships, and serving others with love.
Or, we can surround ourselves with folks that are real and love us for us. We surround ourselves with the ones that speak in wisdom and love.
It is ok to put folks up in the balcony and love them from a distance. Not everyone deserves that front row seat in your life. It’s also ok to encourage yourself when no one else is around to do it! Don’t let someone else control who you are and arrest your potential. We have to decide to live our best life and be talked about, or not to live at all and be talked about!


Fear of what others say most definitely can cripple us and prevent mental, physical, and spiritual growth. That is not what God wants for us! He knows we will battle fear. That’s why He reminds us 365 times in His word to “FEAR NOT”!


I heard a quote the other day from Jay Shetty that sums up this post perfectly. “Don’t let compliments get to your head and don’t let criticisms get to your heart.”












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Summertime

6/7/2018

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Summertime

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There’s so much I want for my children. I want what any good mom wants for their kids, for them to be healthy, happy, have an intimate relationship with Christ, and to be a productive citizen.


However, I want a bit more for them. I want them to enjoy the Summer and have forever special, feel good memories that the smell of freshly cut grass and the sound of an ice cream truck brings back to them one day.


Laying in a lawn chair as I watch Savannah play in a dollar store pool with beach toys gives me a sense of peace. Savannah often reminds me to put my phone down as I may be innocently going through emails, checking my bank balance, or writing a new blog post. She pulls my phone away from me and crawls into my lap. As my soon to be 14 year old and 12 year old have their own phones, I don’t want to be an example of having my face in a phone all the time. Yes, this is a different generation; however, respectful and positive principles must be implemented to gain respectable and positive results while allowing the most incredible memories to be made!


I want Summertime to reflect a season of chilled non-routine days. I want my children to have memories of the smell of the grill cooking our dinner, popsicles staining their tongue and lips, playing in a sprinkler, going to the pool/ water park, watching a movie in a wet bathing suit, being chilled as they walk inside a cool house after playing in a pool, staying up late and sleeping in. I want them to remember fun family memories of us all together at the smell of sunscreen. I want them to remember the excitement of going to the grocery store to pick out snacks and food for a vacation. (Cheez-its, Vienna sausage, and Dr. Pepper are my childhood vacation snacks😂). I want them to remember us celebrating the birth of our country with fireworks, grilled hamburgers and hot dogs. I want them to have precious memories of driving to Orlando and spending time with Gam-mah, Papi, and cousins.

Most importantly, I want my kids to remember me being there. As a former single mom, there have been events I had to miss because of work. I actually had one in my chain of command tell me “there are things you just have to miss”. With that being said, I realize how hard it is to be completely responsible for children and others without help. I have an amazing husband that shares my desires and is so incredibly supportive of me and the time I have with our children. I couldn’t be more thankful and appreciative.


So, today and the next day, and the day after that, I will be aware of the time I am on my phone. I will let my kids be kids. I will surround them with positive energy and flood them with love, intentionally striving for an environment full of all the Summertime smells and activities. I will be there. Why? Because I love Summertime and the memories I have, but I love my kids even more and want their memories to be the best!

There is a quote hanging in Alexis’ bathroom that says it all, “You are the author of your own life story. So make it a good one!”
Happy Summertime, friends!

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My Rear View Mirror

5/21/2018

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My Rear View Mirror

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After Savannah’s checkup with her cardiologist today, I found myself reflecting on her open heart surgery last summer and my heart is full of gratefulness and thankfulness that it is in “my rear view mirror”.


There are some that do not want to look in the past. For me, certain things are hard to reflect on, yet the hardest times can teach us the most.


To think 2 1/2 years ago, I was told that Savannah had only 3 out of the four chambers of her heart, that she had Down Syndrome and that I had to make decisions and make them fast. (Those “decisions” meaning terminate Savannah). I was given every possible negative scenario and told every situation that could go wrong from any possible angle. I was even given a negative outlook on this sweet, beautiful little girl’s future!


Who can predict anyone’s future? Any child comes with obstacles and difficulties, correct? Do you love your child any less because they are failing math, need braces to correct their teeth, or aren’t good at football? Of course not! All of us have our obstacles and difficulties, some more than others. Honestly, the obstacles I see in any of my children makes me cheer for them even louder, do whatever I can to help them succeed and be the best they can be, while encouraging them with so much love....because they’re worth it!
God is good no matter the circumstance, no matter how muddy the water is you’re standing in, and no matter what statistics or “specialists” tell us!


I personally know a couple of Mommas and one Daddy that contemplated terminating the pregnancy due to the bombardment of negativity and scare tactics that they endured after their baby’s prenatal diagnosis.


There are countless pregnancies that have been terminated with this scenario. I do not judge anyone for a decision that has been made or contemplated. Judging another isn’t my job and thankfully never my position.
However, I feel my job (and heart’s desire) is to encourage another and educate anyone that will listen that medical specialists are human and makes mistakes.


A “specialist” misdiagnosed Savannah’s heart diagnosis. Just an hour after I was pressured to terminate my pregnancy (by the one that gave the misdiagnosis), I was told by a prenatal cardiologist that Savannah actually did have all four chambers of her heart and she may need a surgery to repair it in the future.
Sharing our lives publicly as a living testimony is a way to show others that living with the beauty of Down Syndrome isn’t scary. Listening to negative, inaccurate, and outdated statistics by one that doesn’t even know someone with “designer genes” or any type of special needs, however, is scary.


Down Syndrome doesn’t paralyze one’s life, it does the exact opposite. Down Syndrome breathes life into one’s existence. It connects souls from across the globe. Down Syndrome unites different races, genders, and religions. I’m so proud God placed me on this journey. I’m so glad Fear was defeated. (Until it raises its ugly head and defeated again!) I’m so glad the doctors can not even hear a murmur in Savannah’s heart and that open heart surgery is in the “rear view mirror”.


In the meantime, I will keep looking ahead as I drive forward, only looking back to remember the grace given and wisdom learned while seeing the beauty of my future in “my rear view mirror”.
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Equally Loved

4/30/2018

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Equally Loved

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Everyday with my children is beautiful and full of love and contentment. I’m so thankful for them. I read a beautiful post from a fellow mom who’s daughter is also living with the beauty of Down Syndrome. This particular post could’ve been written straight from my own heart. She was basically saying that her IG has been overtaken with photos of her son (like mine has with Savannah) with hopes of educating others and giving hope to families beginning a journey and living with the beauty of Down Syndrome. As a mom, I put no child before the other. I love them equally. So much so that just yesterday while making Alexis and Ava’s lunch, I had 4 slices of bread remaining, with one of them being the heel piece. I didn’t want to chose which daughter got the sandwich with the heel and which one got the sandwich with both soft pieces. So, I cut the heel piece in half as well as one slice of the soft piece, making them receive an equal sandwich (Which looked like a checker board )! Each of my children are unique and amazing. I may highlight Savannah more because I want with all my heart for no one to feel sorry for us or to be sad for us. I never want anyone to think “bless her heart”, which us Southern folk know isn’t a compliment! Ignorance promotes fear. Fear promotes discrimination and cruelty. That is why we, as special needs moms and dads, advocate, stand together so tightly as if we share the same blood, fight for rights, educate, and even open up our personal journey to be scrutinized. We live with so much love and passion, more than can be explained in words through a post or blog. We show love through a living testimony. Yesterday, Ava (my 11 year old) shared with a peer group in class that her little sister has DS. The reaction she received was “awe, I’m sorry”. She immediately said, “Oh no! Don’t be sorry! It’s normal and great. There’s nothing bad about it”. Savannah’s siblings will be educators and advocates as well, they already are! We, as Savannah’s family, will draw strength not only from God, The One who gave us Savannah and makes no mistakes, but from Savannah herself! Savannah, you are strong warrior. You can do anything, and I will be right there with admiration.
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“Hide This Cracked, Flawed Vessel”

4/15/2018

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“Hide This Cracked, Flawed Vessel”
1 or 1 Million Followers, Does it Really Matter?

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There were several ways the same topic came up this week! It was associated with being “lovers of self”, “denying yourself”, and being guilty of making a platform for ourself instead of making one for God.


It started earlier this week when Ava (my 11 year old daughter) and I were having a conversation while getting ready together.
There was a local news report about pedophiles posing as children on the ‘Musical.ly’ app to access our youth. I shared with Ava that if she didn’t personally know someone, do not allow them to follow her. I continued to say it doesn’t matter how many “likes” or followers one has. Having a certain number of likes and followers doesn’t validate us and it certainly doesn’t justify our worth and significance.
This is where I became transparent before my 11 year old daughter. I said, ”Ava, even mommy struggled with this just a few days ago!” Adults get caught up in the rat race to be liked and accepted just as today’s youth. It is easy for me to look at another DS advocate and see how many followers they have and think, “I Blog, I am a pretty good writer, and I’ve had multiple articles published. I spread positivity and attempt to educate others because I genuinely care and want others to see the beauty of Down Syndrome. I want to share the love of Christ and be a positive example to whomever will see and hear.” So why does this person have 9,000+ or 12,000+ followers and I have 1,000? Then, I’m convicted. My goal is to make a difference in just one life. I remain more humble by hiding behind the platform instead of making it my own. My intentions are not prideful, but when I have the competitive thoughts like I just mentioned, I’m most definitely not hiding behind anything, especially The Cross!


I also shared this transparency with my declared sister, Karen, yesterday as we walked the Atlanta Belt Line with our daughters. She is always so positive and relatable. She said, “Sis, everyone struggles with this. It’s human nature!” She always has a way of making me feel “normal”. That is the same intentions I have for those I know personally and through social media as I write and blog about life, relationships, and the beauty of living with Down Syndrome.


This same topic came up once again after seeing a post from @iamhe.simple on Instagram.
It was through a powerful video of how social media and devices manipulate and monopolize our time. How we promote ourselves, instead of caring for others and loving God with all our heart. We have become lovers of flesh.
After seeing the video, I immediately thought/ prayed, “Lord, please search me and convict me if I’m guilty of any of this. I don’t want to be so focused on myself, my feelings, how things appear, or even how many see and receive what I stand and advocate for. I simply want to be a clean conduit for Christ’s honor and glory, not taking any away from Him. Lord, continue to create in me a clean heart, with love and compassion for others. Thank you for the gift of discernment. Help me to be focused on a relationship with you over religion. Thank you that social media can be used as a positive platform for encouragement, even a way to “check ourselves”!


Lastly, today at church, our pastor, Jerry Walls, spoke on this topic as well. We can all be guilty of making our own platform instead of a platform for God.
He referenced the verses:


Matthew 16:24 (NIV)
24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.
Matthew 16:2(NIV)
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26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?
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For this topic to come up so often from various places in a few short days, I feel it is a message for me to hide in my heart and meant to share with whomever will listen. The prayer at the beginning of Nate Butler’s song “Crash and Burn” is prayed by Nathan Butler, Sr. It is one of my favorite prayers and songs! This prayer has become my prayer:
“Father God, now in the name of Jesus, we pray now that you would hide this cracked, flawed vessel behind the cross. That you, Oh God, would stand up in this vessel of clay. That you, Oh God, would squash intellect, that you would hide education. That you, God, would move “Nate” (insert your name) out of the way. That God, these... your people, hear from You. Then, God save somebody in the process. Deliver somebody in the process. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

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Tips On Oral Care For Your Little One

4/12/2018

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Tips On Oral Care For Your Little One

As moms, we want the best for our children. We make sure they have enough servings of fruits and vegetables. We want the best and safest lotions, soaps, and diapers. We make sure our children have adequate visits to their pediatrician to maintain good health. So why are teeth somewhat put on the back burner by many or not thought of as a primary part of good health?


Good oral health begins as an infant. I have always suggested to my new Mom patients that after putting baby in the bath (tub or sink), use a clean baby bath cloth and wet it with warm water, squeezing out any access water. Simply wipe baby’s gingiva on both top and bottom. Baby will suck and/ or bite. That’s ok! It feels good to his/ her gums!
Make gingival cleaning a daily routine. Bath time is ideal because one can incorporate oral care and body care together in one session. This provides a healthy environment for the first tooth when it erupts!


After the first tooth erupts, begin using an extra soft baby toothbrush that is approved by the American Dental Association. The toothbrush can be used with water alone or a baby cleansing gel that is fluoride free. Since baby can not adequately spit out fluoridated toothpaste until later, it is best to use fluoride free at this time.


It’s very important not to put baby down for a nap or bed with a bottle of milk or juice. Bacteria in the mouth thrive on these sugars and make acids that attack the teeth. The natural sugars from these beverages can greatly increase the cavity rate and cause baby bottle caries. This is a term used when cavities throughout the teeth are present from the sugary drinks (natural or refined) setting on the teeth for extended periods of time.


Continue to brush your baby’s teeth daily. Ideally, it’s best to make sure brushing is done twice a day. In reality, you will be doing great if you brush baby’s teeth once a day, preferably at night to get the “days collection” of plaque and food debris.


Your child’s first dental checkup depends on the dentist. I usually did a “happy visit” when baby would come in with mom or dad. Doing a quick, fun, but efficient quick check will allow a way to make sure the child’s dentition is coming in and the oral cavity and teeth are “happy and healthy”! If the child comes in with mom or dad to their appointments, the child sees how easy and fun a dental visit may be!


Usually at the age of three is when an official cleaning and exam is done because all of the primary teeth are fully erupted and the child’s behavior is mature enough to endure a quick and light hearted visit!
I suggest getting children’s books about going to the dentist and talking to your child before going. Talking about how fun it will be and how easy it will be will ease your child’s mind and yours, too! The Berenstain Bears series has a sweet book about going to the dentist and I highly recommend it!


I hope these suggestions and insight will help give you and your child a great and happy start to a healthy, bright smile for years to come!

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What My Health Physical Revealed To Me

4/10/2018

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What My Health Physical Revealed To Me

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I hate to admit that until yesterday, it has been almost 7 years since I had a complete physical. I did have my annual Pap smears and breast exams, but that has been the extent. I consistently make sure all three of my children have their well checks and various other appointments concerning their health. It is easy for a lot of us to come up with excuses as to why we may not go to the doctor ourselves. The biggest reason is we may put everyone else before ourselves and time simply passes quickly.

As I updated the physician on the highlights of my past seven years, I came face to face with the reality and emotions from the major events that have taken place since my last visit.
I am one who doesn’t over dramatize situations and when things have become very stressful or tense, I protect my children and try to calm the environment at the expense of me personally facing my own emotions.

I found myself telling the MD that after 23 years, my husband filed for divorce. Five years ago I found myself taking care of two daughters and a mother by myself, as I do not have siblings nor did I have parents I could go to for help or refuge. I also explained the circumstances that happened in the marriage that were incredibly tense and somewhat violent that led to me being hospitalized with a possible TIA. Incredible stress most definitely affects one physically! I am thankful beyond words that my girls are under my roof every night.
Two years after my divorce, The Lord brought JR into my life and the lives of Alexis and Ava and eventually we married. He has become a consistently calm, loving, and authoritative guide in their lives. One year after that, I had my third daughter (Savannah) and that is where my journey continued to move in a completely different direction. She had a prenatal diagnosis of Down Syndrome and we were pressured to abort based on her diagnosis.
The following year, when Savannah was one, she had open heart surgery. Today, her cardiologist can not even hear a murmur!
Five months later (December 2017), I found out we were expecting again. However, I began to bleed and eventually had my first miscarriage. Within 24 hours of the miscarriage beginning, my mother passed away.
The Female doctor listened and actually said I reminded her of herself. Not necessarily because of all of the events, but that major life changes happen to us all. No matter where we come from, race, sex, economical status, etc. Life is a journey. In spite of it all, I am so grateful and thankful. Why? Because God makes no mistakes. He can take our mess and make it our ministry. He is a God of restoration and second chances.
He has a purpose and plan for each of us, if we are willing to trust and follow Him.
As I reflected on the major events that have occurred, I see how good God is. He reveals Himself in the most unique ways and even reveals so much about ourselves if we are humble enough to see. I wouldn’t be on this incredible journey and path I’m on if things happened differently. Wrongs that are done to us, can and will teach us to be better instead of bitter! If life were perfect, we would never see God do His “thang”! We would never know amazing grace. Without sickness, we wouldn’t know The Healer. Without pain, we would not know peace. Without heartache, we wouldn’t know happiness.
So, today and everyday, I choose to accept the path God has for me with a grateful and thankful heart. He wants the best for us! Hopefully, I will continue to learn more about this crazy ride called “life” and be able to share my journey to encourage and relate to others with love.
I look forward to the next 7 years with hope and excitement, making sure I include those yearly physicals!
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Learning A Different Language

2/22/2018

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Learning A Different Language

This is an article that is different from my typical posts. It’s not about DS, open heart surgery, or a military golf tournament fundraiser, but about LOVE LANGUAGES!
I feel this is another important subject and concept to teach our children!
The concept that everyone doesn’t think like me was one I carried into adulthood.

I have had to learn so much on my own. I wish someone would’ve told me at an early age that God not only made men and women to think differently, but that people in general have different love languages! It’s not a “right” or “wrong”, just different! …. and different is A-OK!
According to Gary Demonte Chapman, the author of series, there are five different love languages.
Gift Giving, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service (Devotion), and Words of Affirmation.
Think about all of the millions of people in this world, yet there are only five love languages! This means many of us share the same language of love.

However, if you are with someone that doesn’t share the same love language, it can make for a difficult journey! One has to be willing to see the other person showing love in their own language.
For example, yesterday was a very long and busy day for me, as I’m sure you all can relate! I was mentally exhausted from completing my mom‘s business affairs, occupying, playing, and taking care of Savannah, getting the older girls lunches packed and off to school, answering emails, and making various appointments. Needless to say I did not make dinner. I’m sure this sounds very familiar to many of you! Only until 7:30 pm, we decided to get Fazoli‘s because it is cheap and not typical fast food. I stayed home with the girls making sure everyone was bathed and ready for bed while my husband, JR, and Trip, my son by marriage, went to get the food. When they returned with the food, it was not from Fazoli‘s, but from my favorite Chinese restaurant! Did JR hold my face, look deeply into my eyes, telling me how much he appreciates all I do and how much he loves me? Not in that way, but when he went to my favorite Chinese restaurant instead of Fazoli’s, that was equal to him giving me that verbal affirmation, which is one of my love languages!

One of JR’s love languages is “acts of service”. If I choose NOT to see what he does for me daily and HOW he is telling me (in his own language) he loves and cherishes me, I may miss out on an intimate relationship with him, leaving me feeling neglected and unloved.
I urge you ladies not to focus on what is NOT said or done and CHOOSE to see what IS done and said! Maybe it just isn’t done or said in the language that is yours.
Likewise, our partner needs to do the same. A relationship should never be one sided!

Sometimes we need to step out of our love language and speak another! We may need to learn another language to make another feel loved in their own familiarity.
If any of you have learned another speaking language, you realize it takes time and patience to master. Many of us only learn a second language in high school for two years , only because it is required.

If you are like me and are in a relationship with one who speaks a different love language, I urge you to look at it as a requirement to step out of your box. Learning not only how to recognize how they are speaking love to you in their own way, but demonstrate to them how much you love them in their language instead of yours. Loving unselfishly, not just expecting to get, but to give to them…even more!
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    I write about life and family. My heart's desire is to educate as I am being educated, while inspiring and encouraging others through the beauty of Down Syndrome.

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