OUR STORY MATTERS
I want to share your story! Every week, I will post a different voice as they are shared. I feel there so much life and hope we can breath into one another, no matter our age or background! You can be the change, healing can take place, and you can be a light for another simply by sharing a word of HOPE! Sharing our obstacles, life experiences, and how we've overcome them may be just what another needs to hear. We are all unique! We all have a purpose! There is beauty in coming together and learning from our differences! If we truly listen to one another, we will quickly discover we are actually more alike than different! What have you learned in this journey of life? I can't wait to hear from you because YOUR STORY MATTERS...OUR STORY MATTERS!
A Surprising Diagnosis Became Our Biggest Blessing
I am Helen Tesfaye and this is my story.
Nyasha Hope’s diagnosis of down syndrome was a shock to our family. She was diagnosed at 8 months of age. During a visit to her pediatrician for a concern I had about her fast breathing during the night, he suggested that it could be her lungs and sent us for an X Ray. The result showed that she has an abnormal heart. The doctor referred us to a cardiologist and an ultrasound was done. He told us about her diagnosis. Nyasha was born with Complete Atrioventricular Canal defect (CAVC). She had to undergo open heart surgery that lasted almost 10 hours, but with God by her side and family around the world praying for her, she survived it all. The road to recovery was not easy! We love our daughter so much and we also know that her diagnosis does not define her. A diagnosis is not who she is. She is a child of God, created in His image, and God is her identity. Nyasha is about to be 3 years old in few weeks and has 3 siblings who love her so much. She has a sister and 2 brothers. She is our 4th child and our blessing. She brings out the best of me and I have acquired so much wisdom since I gave birth to her. God is teaching me through her. I became more patient, understanding, sensitive, and have learned to love unconditionally. I have also learned not to be judgmental and feel I have become a better human being. Nyasha means “grace” in Shona, the Zimbabwean language, and she is indeed the grace of God. She loves to play outdoors, likes to walk and climb stairs, play with kids at church, and if she sees kids playing in the neighborhood, she always wants to join in on the fun! She also enjoys praising God by raising her hands when she hears songs of praise. She sings and dances! She likes to blow kisses and give hugs with a free spirit. Nyasha likes to learn and communicates by using sign language when she wants to eat, drink juice, stop, when she wants to say “I love you”, “thank you”, “sorry”, “please”, “more”. She also signs “play” when she wants to play! She is determined to learn and discover new things along the way. There is nothing impossible for God and with Him by her side, she can do anything she wants! There is no limit whatsoever, because the God who created her is limitless. Her future is in God’s hands and it is so bright! When I reflect on the day she was born, I am so grateful that the doctors missed her diagnosis because I was not given all the negative news which the doctors usually deliver to mothers of children with down syndrome. I just want to take a moment to encourage the new mothers who are expecting or already have a child with down syndrome. Accepting the diagnosis yourself is the first step that you must take in order to help your child. You will experience a range of emotion including anger, guilt and sadness and these will come and unpredictably. The most important thing to remember is that all of these feelings are normal. Try to remind yourself that it is okay to feel these things. It is also important to let these feelings out. Some people do this naturally in the way they handle problems, while other individuals must remind themselves to express feelings.
Regardless of how expressive you are, you should find a way to share your feelings, whether it is in a journal to yourself or by sharing with friends, relatives, or a therapist. I personally lean on God and I saw His intervention in every situation I was facing, which makes me so humble because nothing is too big for God! So, mum you got this! Your child is the blessing God has given you. I believe with all my heart God brought Nyasha into our lives for a purpose, to give us joy, and hope, not only to her family, but to those who cross her path. God made her this way and I would not trade her for anything. When she joined our family, she opened our eyes to see and live life differently. The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extrachromosome.
Nyasha Hope’s diagnosis of down syndrome was a shock to our family. She was diagnosed at 8 months of age. During a visit to her pediatrician for a concern I had about her fast breathing during the night, he suggested that it could be her lungs and sent us for an X Ray. The result showed that she has an abnormal heart. The doctor referred us to a cardiologist and an ultrasound was done. He told us about her diagnosis. Nyasha was born with Complete Atrioventricular Canal defect (CAVC). She had to undergo open heart surgery that lasted almost 10 hours, but with God by her side and family around the world praying for her, she survived it all. The road to recovery was not easy! We love our daughter so much and we also know that her diagnosis does not define her. A diagnosis is not who she is. She is a child of God, created in His image, and God is her identity. Nyasha is about to be 3 years old in few weeks and has 3 siblings who love her so much. She has a sister and 2 brothers. She is our 4th child and our blessing. She brings out the best of me and I have acquired so much wisdom since I gave birth to her. God is teaching me through her. I became more patient, understanding, sensitive, and have learned to love unconditionally. I have also learned not to be judgmental and feel I have become a better human being. Nyasha means “grace” in Shona, the Zimbabwean language, and she is indeed the grace of God. She loves to play outdoors, likes to walk and climb stairs, play with kids at church, and if she sees kids playing in the neighborhood, she always wants to join in on the fun! She also enjoys praising God by raising her hands when she hears songs of praise. She sings and dances! She likes to blow kisses and give hugs with a free spirit. Nyasha likes to learn and communicates by using sign language when she wants to eat, drink juice, stop, when she wants to say “I love you”, “thank you”, “sorry”, “please”, “more”. She also signs “play” when she wants to play! She is determined to learn and discover new things along the way. There is nothing impossible for God and with Him by her side, she can do anything she wants! There is no limit whatsoever, because the God who created her is limitless. Her future is in God’s hands and it is so bright! When I reflect on the day she was born, I am so grateful that the doctors missed her diagnosis because I was not given all the negative news which the doctors usually deliver to mothers of children with down syndrome. I just want to take a moment to encourage the new mothers who are expecting or already have a child with down syndrome. Accepting the diagnosis yourself is the first step that you must take in order to help your child. You will experience a range of emotion including anger, guilt and sadness and these will come and unpredictably. The most important thing to remember is that all of these feelings are normal. Try to remind yourself that it is okay to feel these things. It is also important to let these feelings out. Some people do this naturally in the way they handle problems, while other individuals must remind themselves to express feelings.
Regardless of how expressive you are, you should find a way to share your feelings, whether it is in a journal to yourself or by sharing with friends, relatives, or a therapist. I personally lean on God and I saw His intervention in every situation I was facing, which makes me so humble because nothing is too big for God! So, mum you got this! Your child is the blessing God has given you. I believe with all my heart God brought Nyasha into our lives for a purpose, to give us joy, and hope, not only to her family, but to those who cross her path. God made her this way and I would not trade her for anything. When she joined our family, she opened our eyes to see and live life differently. The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extrachromosome.
YOU CAN FOLLOW MRS. HELEN AND HER JOURNEY ON INSTAGRAM. JUST CLICK THE LINK BELOW!
”Age Is Just A Number”
Featuring: Gordon Perrotti
Today’s “Our Story Matter’s” Blog Post is about an inspiring gentleman that hasn’t let age or the turmoils of life define him.
Gordon Perrotti is 73 years young! He is a strong and active light to all who know him. He is also a positive and cheerful husband, father of three, and grandfather of four! He served in the US Navy from 1965 to 1971 as a flight engineer on C 54 transports. He was also a motorcycle technician for 35 years and a service manager for 11 years. He currently resides in Virginia with his beautiful bride.
Mr. Perrotti has lived life with a positive attitude and says, “Staying positive in every situation in life has given me an inner peace in all I have faced. I noticed early on in life, when problems came my way, I could deal with them quickly by filling my days with joy. I was not loaded down with constant turmoil. Being ready and able to deal with what life throws your way is important whether one is in a military, business, or personal situation. I am very blessed to be able to associate with people of like mind and distance myself from the ones that are constantly in some sort of turmoil. I accepted Christ as my Savior during a Billy Graham revival in 1961 at Madison Square Garden. This has allowed the Holy Spirit to work in me for all good things and has keep the devil from having victory in my life.”
Gordon Perrotti is 73 years young! He is a strong and active light to all who know him. He is also a positive and cheerful husband, father of three, and grandfather of four! He served in the US Navy from 1965 to 1971 as a flight engineer on C 54 transports. He was also a motorcycle technician for 35 years and a service manager for 11 years. He currently resides in Virginia with his beautiful bride.
Mr. Perrotti has lived life with a positive attitude and says, “Staying positive in every situation in life has given me an inner peace in all I have faced. I noticed early on in life, when problems came my way, I could deal with them quickly by filling my days with joy. I was not loaded down with constant turmoil. Being ready and able to deal with what life throws your way is important whether one is in a military, business, or personal situation. I am very blessed to be able to associate with people of like mind and distance myself from the ones that are constantly in some sort of turmoil. I accepted Christ as my Savior during a Billy Graham revival in 1961 at Madison Square Garden. This has allowed the Holy Spirit to work in me for all good things and has keep the devil from having victory in my life.”
Distancing himself from negative influences and drama has been a great asset in maintaining his peace. His relationship with Christ, his love for family and friends, and his passion for racing motocross has kept him feeling young and active!
Mr. Perrotti started racing motorcycles in 1970 as an amateur and six years later, he obtained his professional racing license. For the next ten years, he raced pro dirt tracks, half mile, and mile oval tracks. He retired from dirt track racing in 1986 and didn’t race again until 2006, when he was at the ripe ‘ol age of 60!
At the strong age of 60, Mr. Perrotti’s passion for racing was ignited again and his motocross career began by stepping in for a friend. His friend built a motocross bike, then unfortunately injured his back, rendering him unable to ride it. Mr. Perrotti says, “My friend wanted to see his creation go around a race track and asked me if I could race it for him and that’s all it took.”
Mr. Perrotti built his own 1972 motocrosser, and with many modifications over the years, he is still racing that same machine!
Mr. Perrotti says, “ I have competed in and won several dozen races over the last 13 years including back to back years of winning the 60+ class at the International Track in Unadilla, NY.” In 2012, Mr. Perrotti was ranked number 4 in the United States in the 60-70 age group. He plans to race again this October and continues to live life to the fullest, no matter his age!
“It’s Only An Obstacle, If You Make It One”
Today’s “Our Story Matters” blog post is about a beautiful young college student that didn’t allow a hearing impairment define her or her accomplishments!
Sam is a 23 year old young lady that recently graduated from The Citadel and is currently attending graduate school.
All of Sam’s life, she was partially deaf and felt self conscious that she couldn’t hear people when they spoke to her. She never wore a hearing device, but learned to read lips at an early age.
Last year she had a surgery to correct her hearing impairment. However, she never viewed that impairment as an obstacle. She never let her differences hinder her from following her dreams of becoming an all-American athlete, participate in several pageants, and graduating college with a business degree!
Sam is a 23 year old young lady that recently graduated from The Citadel and is currently attending graduate school.
All of Sam’s life, she was partially deaf and felt self conscious that she couldn’t hear people when they spoke to her. She never wore a hearing device, but learned to read lips at an early age.
Last year she had a surgery to correct her hearing impairment. However, she never viewed that impairment as an obstacle. She never let her differences hinder her from following her dreams of becoming an all-American athlete, participate in several pageants, and graduating college with a business degree!
Sam says, “I was Miss Freedom USA, placed at Miss SC United States, was a D1 soccer captain, and played about 5000 minutes of college soccer. I was on the all-region team and I was an All-American. I graduated from The Citadel and now am in Grad school. Attending and graduating from a male dominated college was difficult but, I never felt any different than the guys around me. My brothers supported me through my journey. I never let a hearing impairment affect my every day life.”
After completing graduate school, Sam plans on traveling the world! Her advice to young ladies is this: “I’m blessed that I was able to never let my hearing impairment effect my goals and aspirations. It’s only an obstacle if you make it one!”
You may continue to follow Sam’s journey and amazing accomplishments via Instagram!
After completing graduate school, Sam plans on traveling the world! Her advice to young ladies is this: “I’m blessed that I was able to never let my hearing impairment effect my goals and aspirations. It’s only an obstacle if you make it one!”
You may continue to follow Sam’s journey and amazing accomplishments via Instagram!
Women Supporting Women
Today’s “Our Story Matters” post is from a beautiful lady that carries many titles. She is a wife, teacher, advocate, and published author of ‘A Princess Wish’ . She is also expecting her third child! Maria recently hosted her second annual “Blessed Moms Brunch” in Canada, where she resides with her precious family. She has a heart for women and the following post will give you a glimpse into her ‘story’ and how her journey continues to unfold. You may follow Maria on Instagram and you may find her book ‘A princess Wish’ on Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/Princess-Wish-Maria-Jordan-MacKeigan/dp/1530022916
https://www.amazon.com/Princess-Wish-Maria-Jordan-MacKeigan/dp/1530022916
Women supporting women
By: Maria Jordan MacKeigan
When I found out our baby would be born with not only a heart defect needing open heart surgery but she would also have an extra chromosome, I was beyond devastated. I spent months crying, fearful, full of anger and sadness. I felt my world was ending. I continued to dig myself deeper into a big black hole. I wasn’t sure how I’d get out of it.
The genetics doctor who delivered the news was so negative about Down syndrome (Ds), he said abortion was our best option. He never once mentioned anything good about having a child with Ds. Not knowing anyone with Ds, I believe what the professional was saying.
I had to mourn the loss of the child I thought I was having and began to imagine a more difficult life of disability, unwanted stares and a life of seclusion.
As the weeks went by and the birth day was approaching, I continued to go to prayer groups, I let all my feelings out to friends and family, and somehow I began to let go of the fear and pain I had been feeling.
During the weeks prior to our baby being born I had a vivid dream about her, her face was perfect, she in fact looked just like a regular baby, she was angelic. God was sending me a clear message that our baby who we already loved and wanted for so long, would be a perfect addition to our family.
This dream carried me through the next few weeks and my days were beginning to fill with smiles. I was ready for her to come into our lives and joyfully nesting away. Baby girl surprised us by coming three weeks early. The words “Miracles happen here” were written above the reception desk, which I focused on as I was wheeled into the delivery room. Peace set within me and I knew God was there and had been a part of every single step of the way.
He was there when it took us nine months to get pregnant. He was there when the markers didn’t show in the screenings. He was there at that twenty week ultrasound when we found out she had complete Atrioventricular Septal defect. He was at every single fetal echocardiogram. He was there when the doctor spoke of terminating her precious life. He was there when I sobbed and Asked Him “why me? Why us?” He was there, every single moment I felt alone, I now know He was there!
With three gentle pushes and within four minutes Jordan Grace was placed directly into my chest. She looked up at me, her eyes met mine, and I knew, I knew I would fight for her, for her worth, for her life, for her schooling, for her rights!
Jordan Grace is now a beautiful five year old smart little girl, she loves to read, she’s funny and witty, she lives life in the moment and to the fullest. She enjoys the little things, she loves with her entire being, she is pure magic and wonder. I couldn’t feel more blessed and proud to be her mom.
Because of her extra chromosome I have made some incredible friends throughout the world who I may never meet, but who know exactly what it feels like to be a part of this secret society. Mothers of children with different abilities are some of the most incredible friends. We meet and bond through social media, cheer each other and our children from afar, pray for each other during those scary surgery days, virtually hug one another when we feel like we’ve failed, and celebrate every single little milestone. These friendships are the most amazing and surprising part of being a special needs mom, I never knew I had a whole village to count on.
The best part is that life is so good. We love our children with all our might, we are warrior mamas, we are teachers, we are learners, we are guiding this world to change for our children, and we are showing society through our genuine smiles what our life is like. It’s the same as anyone else’s. We have our ups and downs, but we also have very high highs.
I’ve never known a more supportive community than the special needs community. We are blessed and surrounded by love!
Baskets of Hope
By: Kate Adele
You can continue to be inspired by following Kate and Hope on Instagram!
Today’s feature is from an inspiring and beautiful mom of three, named Kate! We are excited to share the incredible purpose and ‘hope’ already inspired by her little princess!
“This little gem is Hope Elizabeth Adele and she is the love of our lives!
Hope was diagnosed with Down Syndrome when I was 12 weeks pregnant. I was terrified, but already loved that little life so much. During my 20 week scan it was noted that she may have issues with her heart and that she also had hydrops, so off to the High Risk clinic we travelled. Even more terrified...
After 8 weeks all the fluid in her tummy was gone and as far as they could tell her heart looked great, she was already a brave warrior. Hope was born at 37 weeks and instantly became the pride and joy of our family.
She has her share of health issues, hypothyroidism, obstructive sleep apnea, conductive hearing loss, acid reflux, reactive airway and a possible growth hormone deficiency but she takes on every challenge like a champion and perseveres with a smile on her face and bravery in her heart. She is smart, she is beautiful and she is so very loved 💙💛
To honour Hope and the beauty she has brought to our lives, I wanted to give back to our community, to be the support I was scared to reach out for when I received our diagnosis. To do this I have created Baskets of Hope to provide celebration baskets to new families who have received a Down syndrome diagnosis in Northern Ontario. Because we are pretty remote compared to the rest of the province there aren’t an abundance of support services so I wanted to be that first connection to welcome new families to the community and help connect them with the services and other families in our area. To let them know that everything is going to be ok, that they will live the same life they had before but it will be so much more enriched and loving because of their extra special blessing!
Since starting we have delivered 2 baskets and can’t wait to meet some more new families as they arrive!
I feel like the luckiest person alive to have been given this path and to be able to help serve others in our community.”
ADELE’S STORY
By: Krista Rowland-Collins
Today’s feature on ‘Our Story Matters’ is from a beautiful mother of two. She is not only an advocate for her daughter, Adele; but, for all who cannot speak for themselves. She is also a loving wife, an inspirational teacher, a blogger, and the founder of Adele’s Over The Rainbow Baskets. Everyone has purpose and can inspire another just by sharing their story! This story is no exception!
You can follow Krista’s journey and continue to be inspired by Adele via Instagram.(aperfectextrachromosome)
You can follow Krista’s journey and continue to be inspired by Adele via Instagram.(aperfectextrachromosome)
We found out about Adele’s diagnosis when we were fifteen weeks pregnant. It was a difficult time for us with emotions running on high. Our minds raced. Our doubts took over. Our hopes of having the perfect child; shattered right before our eyes. We thought that the perfect child would be one without Down syndrome. How could we raise a child who has additional needs? Our thoughts were so clouded by statistics, it was overwhelming and disheartening. We were facing the unknown. Emotion had taken over logic, we needed to grieve.
We went for our eighteen-week ultrasound and saw this perfect little miracle, flailing her arms and legs and bouncing all around. She was ours. She was our baby. She wasn’t Down syndrome. The doctor walked in the room and he used the word ‘perfect’ to describe our unborn baby. That day, we exhaled, and we experienced joy for the first time since we received the diagnosis. We fell madly in love with this little being whom we had not even met.
Today, we have an amazing little girl. We see this beautiful being, a human life that is capable of so much. There are no limits for Adele; there are hopes and dreams, support, love and encouragement from the world around her.
When I look into Adele’s eyes, I see strength, courage and love. I see right into her soul. I see this beautiful angel who has impacted many lives in such a short period of time. I see that she has changed so many views and she has done this, not only in our home town, but across the world. She has brought so many special people into our lives and I love her for doing this, as it has made me a better person. She has made me a better person. My child has taught me the value of diversity. She has taught me that by having an extra chromosome; it has made her one extra special little girl. She has taught others that love is unconditional. She lives in the present and without judgment. Adele has encouraged others to find out more about Down syndrome and has shown so many just how resilient and beautiful she truly is....so beautiful.
I am your mommy Adele. I will always look after you. I will always love you. I will always be your advocate. I will always hug you when you need a hug. I will always lead you in the right direction. I will always show others that you came into this world for a reason. You were given to us for a reason. You have this diagnosis for a reason. You are a miracle.
In the short time that Adele has been in our lives, she has heavily impacted the world around her. She has started projects; she has influenced me to write the blog (A Perfect Extra Chromosome), which has been read by families from all over the world. Adele has been featured in numerous news articles, in magazines, on Global News, CTV News, Alberta Primetime and has taken part in numerous photo shoots for Changing the Face of Beauty. Adele's Facebook page has attracted over 12 000 followers, who have become our family.
Over a dozen women have started up the basket project in their communities and it continues to grow. The love, support and kind words that we have received from the recipients of the baskets has been beautiful and life changing. We have sat with new families in their hospital rooms, offering words of support and reassurance. We have sat with dads, who have cried on our shoulders, but by the end of the visit, there is laughter and a sense of relief and gratitude. We have delivered over 110 baskets to new families as well, we started up another project; providing comfort baskets to families who have a child with Down syndrome who receives a cancer diagnosis.
The City of Calgary has recognized the impact that Adele has had on so many; they made me a Role Mother Ambassador for the 2015 calendar year. This allowed us to continue to spread awareness, educate others and provide support to new families. I have had mothers contact me and ask for our family to go to their home to talk about our journey. Adele has made us better people. Adele has changed the way we view the world. Adele has inspired us, she has taught us to not judge others, and she has encouraged us to do good in our community and to make a positive difference in our world.
Adele has received messages from mothers telling her that she has given them hope and that because of her joy, they felt more confident in their journey. Adele is changing the world.
It's difficult as her mother to explain the incredible impact that she has had on so many. We have received messages from others telling us that because of Adele and the impact that she has had on their life, they have chosen to continue the journey. They have felt supported by us; they have felt that by seeing our strength, they have found strength. Adele has saved lives. As her mother, I am beyond proud of all that she has done in such a short amount of time. As a family, we will continue to work on changing the world. We will continue to provide support. We will continue to provide comfort and joy to other families. Adele is my hero.
Adele has received messages from mothers telling her that she has given them hope and that because of her joy, they felt more confident in their journey. Adele is changing the world.
It's difficult as her mother to explain the incredible impact that she has had on so many. We have received messages from others telling us that because of Adele and the impact that she has had on their life, they have chosen to continue the journey. They have felt supported by us; they have felt that by seeing our strength, they have found strength. Adele has saved lives. As her mother, I am beyond proud of all that she has done in such a short amount of time. As a family, we will continue to work on changing the world. We will continue to provide support. We will continue to provide comfort and joy to other families. Adele is my hero.
The Realness Of Motherhood
By: Cindy White
If you have ever doubted that “mom brain” is real, I assure you it is! I don’t call my children by their correct names anymore! I call Ava “Ah-lec-Ava” most of the time because my tongue even combines their names!
The mundane tasks of picking up batteries as they roll across the floor from a remote that has been thrown from a three year old’s hands countless times, picking up a scattered pile of diaper wipes, then putting them in a ziplock bag because they’ve been pulled out of the original package, and cleaning poop off the floor RIGHT beside the potty while potty training, are just a few examples of what occurs in our home on any given week. Our role as “mom” can keep us quite busy! We don’t even go to the bathroom alone most of the time!
I am thankful for the honor of motherhood and all that comes with it. You see, there was a time I felt my body was “broken” and I had a sense of shame when one would ask, “You say you’ve been married 4 years?When are you going to have a child? Do you want children?” My response was, “Yes, I want to be a momma with all my heart! My husband and I have been trying to have a child for a year.” As time passed, the answer turned into “We have been trying 7 years”.
I even received responses like, “You know how you get pregnant, right?” I would respond with an uncomfortable and irritated curtesy laugh.
After years of trying to have my first child, going through 2 artificial insemenations, and taking fertility drugs, my husband at the time told me he didn’t want children. My spirit was crushed. It was like my breath and purpose had been ripped from me. My faith simply took over. I never argued about it. I simply prayed. After ten years of marriage and seven years of trying to get pregnant, I WAS pregnant with Alexis, my answer to prayer! God’s timing is always perfect and two years later, I gave birth to our sweet Ava!
I was a working mom of two, a serving wife, served in our church, and life was busy. As moms, we try to find balance in putting everyone’s needs before our own, while trying to listen to what our mind and body needs. For me, I didn’t find that balance until later in life and still try to find it often. My life was not my own for years. I was in a controlling marriage, making sure his every need was met as well as my daughters. After 20 years of marriage, we divorced. My life had become engrossed in motherhood and by allowing my husband to control me in every way, I didn’t even know what flavor ice cream I liked when we parted ways. (That is true!)
The one thing that kept me going after divorce was my two daughters. Motherhood was my life preserver. Thankfully, I have had my daughters 24/7 and was also taking care of my mother, who lived with us. I was working two jobs and all of my friends (except for one) no longer spoke to me on a regular basis. Yes, even church friends, whom I served with for several years, no longer kept in touch. However, God never left. He chases us and fights for us, even when we are so numb we don’t know how to talk to Him anymore. That one friend who remained faithful, reminded me that when we don’t know how or what to pray, The Holy Spirit is praying on our behalf. I am so thankful for that truth!
Motherhood leaves even the hardest working, dedicated, and loving mom feeling like she’s not doing enough and that she is not enough in general. When we lay our head down and the stillness of the night surrounds us, we second guess ourselves. Was I too hard on my child? Did I tell them how much I love them enough to where they really know? The truth is, our children won’t have a clue how much we love them until they become parents themselves.
I have often said, “No one understand a lady, like another lady.” We can breath so much life, understanding, and love into our fellow mothers by our words and attitude.
A year and a half ago, I had a miscarriage and lost my own momma within 24 hours of one another. Mourning my child and my mom at the same time was numbing. However, I couldn’t stop taking care of my three daughters. Motherhood, once again, became my life preserver and I had to keep going for my family.
Shortly after my miscarriage and after I was back at work, I had to crawl in the back seat of our travel car to grab something and my male coworker told me that’s probably why I miscarried. The disrespectful and insensitive remarks are things we endure as women and working mothers. There can be so many forces that come against us on top of what we tell ourselves. So why are we so critical and condemning of others?
God extends grace to us, so why is it so hard to Give ourself and others grace?
We have to remember that the ‘ol devil wants to deceive us and rob us of peace and joy.
Ephesians 6:12 says: “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”
There is indescribable love, intense emotions, and relentless humor involved with motherhood! The humorous stories, that become the ones told countless times throughout the years, also become the comic relief we need and make the tough days bearable.
One Christmas when Ava was 3 years old and Alexis was 5, I decided we would have this beautiful moment of making a ginger bread house, just like the Hallmark and Rice Krispie commercials tell us we can have.
Ava was sitting on top of the counter and Alexis was standing in a chair along side us as we began to assemble the gingerbread house. I could not find the gumdrops and asked where they were. Ava looked up and said, “right here”, as she continued to put the remaining gumdrops in her underpants!
There are comical events that could never be scripted and even leaves a mom not knowing whether to laugh or cry!
Ava called me the other day from school because she wasn’t feeling well. So, as not to embarrass her, I changed my chocolate milk stained T-shirt I had slept in the previous night before going to the school to get her. Then, as I am trying to get Savannah to the car, I hit the garage door opener. She quickly runs and grabs the basket of golf balls and pours them out as fast as lightning.
About 50 yellow nerf golf balls roll down our driveway into the street. Savannah is hysterically laughing. So, I just stand there watching a sea of yellow roll down our driveway. I know it’s funny but, at the time I was so tired and had a monthly visitor that had my organs feeling as if they were dragging the floor. Yes, mommas, you can relate! To add to the humor, a guy slowly drove by with his window down and witnessed the entire thing while hearing me yell “Saaaaavannnnnahhhhh!”
He circled back around, not to help but, to see the craziness! I put Savannah in her car seat and went on my own belated Easter egg hunt for yellow golf balls, while hearing Savannah laughing the entire time!
Whether you are a mother struggling through the mundane daily tasks, a lady longing to know the joy of motherhood and struggling with infertility, a mother trying to find balance between your needs and the needs of others, or one who doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry; remember you’re never alone. Cherish that one friend that has your back and is faithful when others leave. Surround yourself with positive influences and lean on The One who is always with you and will intercede on your behalf. Happiness is an emotion that comes and goes. However, you can have joy in the midst of any situation.... especially in the ‘The Realness of Motherhood’.
The mundane tasks of picking up batteries as they roll across the floor from a remote that has been thrown from a three year old’s hands countless times, picking up a scattered pile of diaper wipes, then putting them in a ziplock bag because they’ve been pulled out of the original package, and cleaning poop off the floor RIGHT beside the potty while potty training, are just a few examples of what occurs in our home on any given week. Our role as “mom” can keep us quite busy! We don’t even go to the bathroom alone most of the time!
I am thankful for the honor of motherhood and all that comes with it. You see, there was a time I felt my body was “broken” and I had a sense of shame when one would ask, “You say you’ve been married 4 years?When are you going to have a child? Do you want children?” My response was, “Yes, I want to be a momma with all my heart! My husband and I have been trying to have a child for a year.” As time passed, the answer turned into “We have been trying 7 years”.
I even received responses like, “You know how you get pregnant, right?” I would respond with an uncomfortable and irritated curtesy laugh.
After years of trying to have my first child, going through 2 artificial insemenations, and taking fertility drugs, my husband at the time told me he didn’t want children. My spirit was crushed. It was like my breath and purpose had been ripped from me. My faith simply took over. I never argued about it. I simply prayed. After ten years of marriage and seven years of trying to get pregnant, I WAS pregnant with Alexis, my answer to prayer! God’s timing is always perfect and two years later, I gave birth to our sweet Ava!
I was a working mom of two, a serving wife, served in our church, and life was busy. As moms, we try to find balance in putting everyone’s needs before our own, while trying to listen to what our mind and body needs. For me, I didn’t find that balance until later in life and still try to find it often. My life was not my own for years. I was in a controlling marriage, making sure his every need was met as well as my daughters. After 20 years of marriage, we divorced. My life had become engrossed in motherhood and by allowing my husband to control me in every way, I didn’t even know what flavor ice cream I liked when we parted ways. (That is true!)
The one thing that kept me going after divorce was my two daughters. Motherhood was my life preserver. Thankfully, I have had my daughters 24/7 and was also taking care of my mother, who lived with us. I was working two jobs and all of my friends (except for one) no longer spoke to me on a regular basis. Yes, even church friends, whom I served with for several years, no longer kept in touch. However, God never left. He chases us and fights for us, even when we are so numb we don’t know how to talk to Him anymore. That one friend who remained faithful, reminded me that when we don’t know how or what to pray, The Holy Spirit is praying on our behalf. I am so thankful for that truth!
Motherhood leaves even the hardest working, dedicated, and loving mom feeling like she’s not doing enough and that she is not enough in general. When we lay our head down and the stillness of the night surrounds us, we second guess ourselves. Was I too hard on my child? Did I tell them how much I love them enough to where they really know? The truth is, our children won’t have a clue how much we love them until they become parents themselves.
I have often said, “No one understand a lady, like another lady.” We can breath so much life, understanding, and love into our fellow mothers by our words and attitude.
A year and a half ago, I had a miscarriage and lost my own momma within 24 hours of one another. Mourning my child and my mom at the same time was numbing. However, I couldn’t stop taking care of my three daughters. Motherhood, once again, became my life preserver and I had to keep going for my family.
Shortly after my miscarriage and after I was back at work, I had to crawl in the back seat of our travel car to grab something and my male coworker told me that’s probably why I miscarried. The disrespectful and insensitive remarks are things we endure as women and working mothers. There can be so many forces that come against us on top of what we tell ourselves. So why are we so critical and condemning of others?
God extends grace to us, so why is it so hard to Give ourself and others grace?
We have to remember that the ‘ol devil wants to deceive us and rob us of peace and joy.
Ephesians 6:12 says: “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”
There is indescribable love, intense emotions, and relentless humor involved with motherhood! The humorous stories, that become the ones told countless times throughout the years, also become the comic relief we need and make the tough days bearable.
One Christmas when Ava was 3 years old and Alexis was 5, I decided we would have this beautiful moment of making a ginger bread house, just like the Hallmark and Rice Krispie commercials tell us we can have.
Ava was sitting on top of the counter and Alexis was standing in a chair along side us as we began to assemble the gingerbread house. I could not find the gumdrops and asked where they were. Ava looked up and said, “right here”, as she continued to put the remaining gumdrops in her underpants!
There are comical events that could never be scripted and even leaves a mom not knowing whether to laugh or cry!
Ava called me the other day from school because she wasn’t feeling well. So, as not to embarrass her, I changed my chocolate milk stained T-shirt I had slept in the previous night before going to the school to get her. Then, as I am trying to get Savannah to the car, I hit the garage door opener. She quickly runs and grabs the basket of golf balls and pours them out as fast as lightning.
About 50 yellow nerf golf balls roll down our driveway into the street. Savannah is hysterically laughing. So, I just stand there watching a sea of yellow roll down our driveway. I know it’s funny but, at the time I was so tired and had a monthly visitor that had my organs feeling as if they were dragging the floor. Yes, mommas, you can relate! To add to the humor, a guy slowly drove by with his window down and witnessed the entire thing while hearing me yell “Saaaaavannnnnahhhhh!”
He circled back around, not to help but, to see the craziness! I put Savannah in her car seat and went on my own belated Easter egg hunt for yellow golf balls, while hearing Savannah laughing the entire time!
Whether you are a mother struggling through the mundane daily tasks, a lady longing to know the joy of motherhood and struggling with infertility, a mother trying to find balance between your needs and the needs of others, or one who doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry; remember you’re never alone. Cherish that one friend that has your back and is faithful when others leave. Surround yourself with positive influences and lean on The One who is always with you and will intercede on your behalf. Happiness is an emotion that comes and goes. However, you can have joy in the midst of any situation.... especially in the ‘The Realness of Motherhood’.
