My Rear View Mirror
After Savannah’s checkup with her cardiologist today, I found myself reflecting on her open heart surgery last summer and my heart is full of gratefulness and thankfulness that it is in “my rear view mirror”.
There are some that do not want to look in the past. For me, certain things are hard to reflect on, yet the hardest times can teach us the most.
To think 2 1/2 years ago, I was told that Savannah had only 3 out of the four chambers of her heart, that she had Down Syndrome and that I had to make decisions and make them fast. (Those “decisions” meaning terminate Savannah). I was given every possible negative scenario and told every situation that could go wrong from any possible angle. I was even given a negative outlook on this sweet, beautiful little girl’s future!
Who can predict anyone’s future? Any child comes with obstacles and difficulties, correct? Do you love your child any less because they are failing math, need braces to correct their teeth, or aren’t good at football? Of course not! All of us have our obstacles and difficulties, some more than others. Honestly, the obstacles I see in any of my children makes me cheer for them even louder, do whatever I can to help them succeed and be the best they can be, while encouraging them with so much love....because they’re worth it!
God is good no matter the circumstance, no matter how muddy the water is you’re standing in, and no matter what statistics or “specialists” tell us!
I personally know a couple of Mommas and one Daddy that contemplated terminating the pregnancy due to the bombardment of negativity and scare tactics that they endured after their baby’s prenatal diagnosis.
There are countless pregnancies that have been terminated with this scenario. I do not judge anyone for a decision that has been made or contemplated. Judging another isn’t my job and thankfully never my position.
However, I feel my job (and heart’s desire) is to encourage another and educate anyone that will listen that medical specialists are human and makes mistakes.
A “specialist” misdiagnosed Savannah’s heart diagnosis. Just an hour after I was pressured to terminate my pregnancy (by the one that gave the misdiagnosis), I was told by a prenatal cardiologist that Savannah actually did have all four chambers of her heart and she may need a surgery to repair it in the future.
Sharing our lives publicly as a living testimony is a way to show others that living with the beauty of Down Syndrome isn’t scary. Listening to negative, inaccurate, and outdated statistics by one that doesn’t even know someone with “designer genes” or any type of special needs, however, is scary.
Down Syndrome doesn’t paralyze one’s life, it does the exact opposite. Down Syndrome breathes life into one’s existence. It connects souls from across the globe. Down Syndrome unites different races, genders, and religions. I’m so proud God placed me on this journey. I’m so glad Fear was defeated. (Until it raises its ugly head and defeated again!) I’m so glad the doctors can not even hear a murmur in Savannah’s heart and that open heart surgery is in the “rear view mirror”.
In the meantime, I will keep looking ahead as I drive forward, only looking back to remember the grace given and wisdom learned while seeing the beauty of my future in “my rear view mirror”.
“Hide This Cracked, Flawed Vessel”
I write about life and family. My heart's desire is to educate as I am being educated, while inspiring and encouraging others through the beauty of Down Syndrome.