Learning A Different Language
This is an article that is different from my typical posts. It’s not about DS, open heart surgery, or a military golf tournament fundraiser, but about LOVE LANGUAGES!
I feel this is another important subject and concept to teach our children!
The concept that everyone doesn’t think like me was one I carried into adulthood.
I have had to learn so much on my own. I wish someone would’ve told me at an early age that God not only made men and women to think differently, but that people in general have different love languages! It’s not a “right” or “wrong”, just different! …. and different is A-OK!
According to Gary Demonte Chapman, the author of series, there are five different love languages.
Gift Giving, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service (Devotion), and Words of Affirmation.
Think about all of the millions of people in this world, yet there are only five love languages! This means many of us share the same language of love.
However, if you are with someone that doesn’t share the same love language, it can make for a difficult journey! One has to be willing to see the other person showing love in their own language.
For example, yesterday was a very long and busy day for me, as I’m sure you all can relate! I was mentally exhausted from completing my mom‘s business affairs, occupying, playing, and taking care of Savannah, getting the older girls lunches packed and off to school, answering emails, and making various appointments. Needless to say I did not make dinner. I’m sure this sounds very familiar to many of you! Only until 7:30 pm, we decided to get Fazoli‘s because it is cheap and not typical fast food. I stayed home with the girls making sure everyone was bathed and ready for bed while my husband, JR, and Trip, my son by marriage, went to get the food. When they returned with the food, it was not from Fazoli‘s, but from my favorite Chinese restaurant! Did JR hold my face, look deeply into my eyes, telling me how much he appreciates all I do and how much he loves me? Not in that way, but when he went to my favorite Chinese restaurant instead of Fazoli’s, that was equal to him giving me that verbal affirmation, which is one of my love languages!
One of JR’s love languages is “acts of service”. If I choose NOT to see what he does for me daily and HOW he is telling me (in his own language) he loves and cherishes me, I may miss out on an intimate relationship with him, leaving me feeling neglected and unloved.
I urge you ladies not to focus on what is NOT said or done and CHOOSE to see what IS done and said! Maybe it just isn’t done or said in the language that is yours.
Likewise, our partner needs to do the same. A relationship should never be one sided!
Sometimes we need to step out of our love language and speak another! We may need to learn another language to make another feel loved in their own familiarity.
If any of you have learned another speaking language, you realize it takes time and patience to master. Many of us only learn a second language in high school for two years , only because it is required.
If you are like me and are in a relationship with one who speaks a different love language, I urge you to look at it as a requirement to step out of your box. Learning not only how to recognize how they are speaking love to you in their own way, but demonstrate to them how much you love them in their language instead of yours. Loving unselfishly, not just expecting to get, but to give to them…even more!
I write about life and family. My heart's desire is to educate as I am being educated, while inspiring and encouraging others through the beauty of Down Syndrome.